Day 51 - Love

I started this post this morning before jumping. While I was jumping, I watched two pileated woodpeckers fly across the field in the distance; one following the other. I only saw them silhouetted against the sky, but they have distinctive wing beats and flight patterns. I recognized them immediately. Then, they came closer and crossed back over into a tree close to my carport. Still following each other. I thought, how perfect for my exploration of the topic love. Really, I have no idea if it was a female and male or male chasing another male. Though, it didn't seem aggressive, so probably not a territorial battle. I've witnessed that before... Regardless, still goes with the theme. :)

I decided to address this topic after reading this comment by Deborah, "I wonder though if craving love is the same as craving beer? Love and affection seem like basic building blocks. The real thing right? That's not a craving. That's a true human need. Like we need good healthy food. We need good healthy love." I have all kinds of thoughts on this and felt it better to share in a true post than a comment. What does this have to do with peak condition? Everything. I agree love is an essential human need. In order to be at the peak, we need it, so I'm going to give you my take on love and how to truly cultivate it. All of these ideas come from my many failed relationships, attempted relationships, meditations on loneliness and reading on various alternatives to traditional monogamy over the past 6 months to a year. Enjoy!

DISCLAIMER: These are only my meanderings and current thoughts, no preachiness intended here.

In a way, love and affection ARE like basic building blocks. Being given these things as children, probably helps us to learn how to be loved and give love, but at some point, we stop taking shelter in our parents' love and venture out on our own. It's here that I think we have a choice, do we continue seeking a replacement for that nurturing kind of love or do we find that nurturing love within ourselves, cultivate it by loving ourselves and then give it out to the rest of the world?

Here's where I take issue with our Western ideas of monogamy. I feel like we're conditioned to look for that one person who will complete us. We'll marry that person, settle down, have kids & grow old together. ONE person. Holy crap! Really? God, that just sets us up to fail, at least in this day and age. We're not living in a little community where our interactions are limited to a few people and we pretty much know who we're going to marry by the time we're like 16. It don't work that way anymore. In this age of globalization and social networking, dude, we're meeting people and making new connections DAILY. It's awesome! I love it, but it also means that maybe pinning our happiness on one person or one phantom person is not wrong but just a lot of pressure.

I, also, don't like the idea of a person completing me. Am I half a human being? I don't get it. I'm a complete human being, separate from everyone else. Sure, there are certain people that complement me better, and probably a small few who complement me well enough try to join life paths. This doesn't mean that I need this person to make me happy, right? I really think the happiness needs to come from within me, instead of without me. Meaning I've got to stop looking outside for someone to fulfill that need for love and affection, and start looking within myself. Nobody feeds me food like my parent's did when I was a child, why should anybody feed me love? I got all the resources I need right here (pointing at my heart or the general vicinity of inside me). So, maybe we need to be conditioned to think of ourselves as the ONE person?

I think to be in peak condition, we really need to reach this point. I only just started to try to reach this point a year ago, maybe less even. Until then, I'd pinned my hopes on a series of men, looking for them to give me love, make me happy, complete me. I still love some of those men deeply, and some are my closest friends, but I've stopped expecting them to make me happy and started really focusing on me. It's been an interesting journey. I give Elena props for dating, because I'll be honest, I'm not sure I'm ready for that can o' worms quite yet. Still got a lot to discover about myself, or maybe I'm just scared. Ha!

Ok, meanderings are over. You can return to your regularly, scheduled PCP programming. Workout was good this morning. Really focused on each muscle. I'm thinking of taking the advice of former PCPer & current Kung Fu Bodyer, Emily, and getting a cheap full-length mirror from target and hanging it where I work out. I can practice loving myself while I'll focus on mah MUSCLES GETTING BIGGER! Woo!. :) Also, I think my last tummy fat is disappearing, but in this weird way. Belly fat, "Can't. Hold. On. Much. Longer." Then, it just starts caving in from the middle outwards. There's a funny indentation of less belly fat right below my navel. It makes me giggle, it's so funny looking, especially when I did a shoulder stand this afternoon. Two little belly fat flaps.

Ok, I've spent WAY too much time on this post. It's time for the computer to go in the off position! I'll do pictures in the morning. It was 90 F in my house when I got home today...heat makes me look all bloated. I'll try for the cool of the morning pictures. :) Nighty-night!